The White House Egg Roll Is One Thing Trump Can't Make Any More Surreal
The annual event is usually the First Lady’s chance to shine, but this year, the Be Best eggs were a little overshadowed.
By BRENDAN SMIALOWSKI/AFP/Getty Images.
Is
there anything more surreal in the modern era than the White House Egg
Roll? Maybe the White House Egg Roll last century, when somebody invited
clowns and somebody else put this baby in a basket. The tradition is called an egg roll, after all, which sounds like something good to eat.
This year’s egg roll was also extremely surreal. First of all, Donald Trump is in the White House, so, I dunno, that’s pretty wacky. Have we talked about how unusual it is that the guy from racism and The Apprentice is in the White House? It’s wild! He—again, President Trump—is out here saying things,
like, “I don’t remember the first one,” about a 141-year-old event. I
think it was a little joke. He’s said stranger things, but rarely is he
standing in front of a large man in a bunny suit when he says them.
During the same speech,
which he gave on that big balcony that overlooks the White House South
Lawn, he said that he is “completely rebuilding our military. It was
very depleted, as you know. A lot of the military folks can tell you. It
is being rebuilt to a level we have never seen before.” I wonder if
that was John Bolton in the furry ’fit, like Sean Spicer once was.
So
on that militaristic note, the Easter tradition continued according to
plan. The eggs were emblazoned with “Be Best,” the name of First Lady Melania Trump’s
platform intended to steer children away from online bullying and
opioids, among other things. The reading nook also featured Be Best
branding. And new this year, the First Lady announced an extra game to
add to the egg decorating: hopscotch.
“And we
have a new game this year. It’s hopscotch. It’s a new fun game,” she
revealed after she read a children’s book, according to the Daily Mail’s Emily Goodin. The game, of course, isn’t new
new, you know? It was probably around at the same time this weird
little White House tradition got started (which history heads know was 1878
under President Rutherford B. Hayes). But it’s new to this Easter
event, this old-school activity to distract the kids from their
Fortnites and their cyberbullying. I wonder if they considered other
games to play, like dizzy bats, for example, or red rover? “Be Best
Hopscotch” certainly sounds better than “Be Best Dizzy Bats.” Yes,
hopscotch is the one that’s going to reel in the kids.
This
thing is the First Lady’s show, as the president pointed out in the
speech he gave for her. It’s her Be Best message, and there are so many
kids around who may or may not be being best. But, unfortunately, she
got overshadowed by her husband. He’s out here talking to kids about
something they can understand: walls.
“Here’s a young guy who just said, ‘Keep building that wall.’” Trump
said. “Do you believe that? He’s going to be a conservative someday.”
